tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25372722974382298362023-06-20T21:48:07.814-07:00Mormon ScoutmasterBrother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.comBlogger49125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-16205017767150456162013-06-21T11:05:00.000-07:002013-06-21T11:05:27.294-07:00What is Modesty?<p>I'm not going to link to the stories about male BYUx students writing passive aggressive notes to females about how scantily they are dressed even when most of the time they are clearly not(and even if they are, it's none of the guys' business). We've heard the stories, and you can find them easily enough. I will, however, note that I have only heard about those things happening at BYUI and BYUU, not BYUH. Maybe it happens at BYUH, too, but my guess is that being in a warm climate with beaches and swimsuits abounding and many of the students working at the Polynesian Cultural Center (wearing native traditional dress) and/or being from the islands, the over-focus on modesty is less of an issue.
<p>There are many other posts on this topic, but I'll just link to <a href="http://toeveryonethatbelieveth.blogspot.com/2013/06/whosoever-looketh-on-woman.html">this one</a> so you can get some context on the discussion surrounding modesty. On one side, you have people saying that women should cover up so as to help men have pure thoughts. On the other side, you have women saying they can wear whatever they want and no one should judge them for it. No one seems to be able to agree on what it means for a man to be modest, which multiplies the sexuality and sexism surrounding the term.
<p>When it comes to modesty, I have to quote Inigo Montoya to both sides here.
<p><blockquote>You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.</blockquote>
<p>From <a href="http://www.lds.org/topics/modesty?lang=eng">True to the Faith</a>:
<p><blockquote>Modesty is an attitude of propriety and decency in dress, grooming, language, and behavior. If we are modest, we do not draw undue attention to ourselves. Instead, we seek to “glorify God in [our] body, and in [our] spirit” (1 Corinthians 6:20; see also 1 Corinthians 6:19).</blockquote>
<p>The section on modesty mentions sexuality but also tattoos, piercings, sloppy dressing, and language. There is so much more to modesty than how much skin someone is showing or the tightness of their clothes. The hyper-focus on women's clothing takes away from the greater message about us all being modest in all that we do and lets men off the hook completely.
<p>Several of the priests in our ward have long hair. One in particular was being presented to the ward awhile ago when he turned 16. He's a high school football player. The Bishop made a joke about him cutting his hair after football season was over and Samson - the obvious connection being that he benefited from the extra strength when playing football. But the clueless look on his face made it obvious he didn't know who Samson was, so from the pulpit in front of everyone the Bishop tasked him with going home and reading the story. I think he was too clueless to even be embarrassed for being called out in front of the ward for not being familiar with one of the most well known bible stories. Returning to the hair - it grabbed attention away from what was happening, a young man advancing in the Aaronic Priesthood, and highlighted his lack of understanding in a somewhat awkward way. Going a level deeper, his casual approach to his appearance mirrored his casual approach to learning the gospel. His immodest hair (not sexual hair, but rather his attention-getting hair) is what made that point possible.
<p>Just as his lack of modesty drew attention to himself in an unflattering way, and bikini-wearing women won't like this, so can women's swimsuit or other apparel choices draw attention to themselves in an unflattering way. Of course, a ridiculously large diamond ring sends a similar message, even though it is in no way sexual in nature. Women claim that they should be able to wear a certain cut of clothing or swimsuit because it's cute, comfortable, or functional, but I can't imagine a bikini being any of those three. A 2 carat diamond is certainly none of the three. A guy's pants precariously hanging off his butt is none of the three.
<p>It is still not about what others think of you, though. Modesty is a reflection of the individual. That is where the point gets lost. We need to stop placing the blame for men's impure thoughts on women. Men will have impure thoughts no matter what women are wearing, and that is their load to carry. Just as the football playing priest's immodest hairstyle gave away his need to read his scriptures and pay better attention in Sunday School, a woman's choice to dress immodestly highlights something amiss in her priorities.
<p>That said, I wrote a post awhile ago about how <a href="http://mormonscoutmaster.blogspot.com/2011/12/judge-not.html">we should not judge others</a>. If we do, that is our own fault (and a common one at that) that we need to deal with. <a href="https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/04/the-merciful-obtain-mercy?lang=eng">President Uchtdorf</a> must have read my post, because in the next conference, he gave us this instant classic:
<p><blockquote>This topic of judging others could actually be taught in a two-word sermon. When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following:<br><br>
<b>Stop it!</b><br><br>
It’s that simple. We simply have to stop judging others and replace judgmental thoughts and feelings with a heart full of love for God and His children.</blockquote>
<p>He followed that up by quoting a bumper sticker that read, "Don’t judge me because I sin differently than you."
<p>Let us stop telling men they need to shave and cut their hair and pull up their pants. Let us stop telling women to cover up.
<p>Instead, let us all consider our own behaviors and how we choose to present ourselves to others. Think about what message you are sending to others. The point here is that how others receive the message you are sending is not what we're talking about. It is about what message <i>you</i> are sending, regardless of how others interpret that message. Modesty is an attitude. What is your attitude? What is your intention? If you draw attention to yourself or something about you, why are you doing that? Are you glorifying God?
<p>Answer those questions for yourself. Put your own house in order and stop judging others as they work on their own favorite sins.
<p>I guess both sides have something to learn.Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-67854589045897524712013-06-11T09:19:00.000-07:002013-06-11T09:19:46.993-07:00Virtual MTC<p>I've been wondering with the huge influx of missionaries, plus the recent discussion of <a href="http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865579194/LDS-Church-exploring-two-options-for-long-term-MTC-expansion.html?pg=all">expansion at the Provo MTC</a> and the <a href="http://www.ksl.com/?nid=1016&sid=23905823">closing of the high school in Mexico to convert to an MTC</a> there, and the inevitable eventual decline in number of missionaries after a couple years when the older missionaries are through the system, what the future is for the MTC. How do you build an infrastructure than can expand quickly as well as contract as needed? The total number will be greater than it has been traditionally, but there will be a small dip in two years, no matter how you do the math.
<p>I think you could do some of the MTC virtually, with software to teach some of the language starting immediately when the call arrives, and having those who are waiting to go, go on splits with the local missionaries. Maybe the full-time mission call would include a short-term call as a stake or ward missionary.
<p>Depending on the length of time between receiving the call and leaving, there could be a lot of time to learn the language fairly well. There's Rosetta Stone and Mango Languages and likely other language learning software that could be licensed for cheap. Given the large cost of infrastructure at the physical MTCs, if you traded that away, it would cover much of the cost of developing a new software product focused on church terminology. The church has a lot of technology and expertise in distance learning and training that could be leveraged here. Some of the practice in a new language could be facilitated directly through the technology itself, and then video conferencing could allow for remote instructors and fellow students to practice certain aspects of the language as needed.
<p>Mission prep classes could (and do) teach most of the teaching methods that are learned in the MTC. I had a mission prep class during Sunday School my senior year in high school, and I took a mission prep class in Institute my freshman year at college. There was also a temple prep class fit somewhere in there as well. Maybe the senior year Seminary is focused on missionary work and temple preparation. It's convenient now, how you have four years of high school and four major topics to rotate through - Book of Mormon, Old Testament, New Testament, and Doctrine & Covenants. You'd have to combine two of those somehow. Maybe D&C could be refocused on mission and temple prep. I don't think it would be too much of a stretch, given how much of the D&C is relevant to missionaries. The other three could be rotated through a three year cycle and D&C/mission/temple prep would be done every year for the seniors. Some aspects currently covered in the D&C could be moved in to the Book of Mormon year as needed. It's a logistics issue more than anything. The most problematic aspect would be dealing with early morning seminary and the smaller class sizes that exist when you get further away from Utah, but it's not insurmountable. Are we hastening the work or are we hastening the work?
<p>I could see a three to five month period at home preparing after the call, in addition to all the preparation going on in the previous year before papers are submitted, and then as soon as the visa is available, you're in your new country. For those who don't need to learn a language and/or are going to their own country, you get the same mission prep classes and splits with the missionaries, and go on the predetermined date.
<p>The benefit I see to the MTC is the 100% focus all the time on missionary work. Life doesn't get in the way. It's intense and compressed. There is an opportunity to find those who needed to repent of something before heading out to the actual mission field. But with more involved bishops and stake presidents, as well as getting the missionaries out before they have a chance to <a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/39.3?lang=eng#2">visit the land of Siron</a> in college, in addition to the increased focus during the senior year of high school to prepare, I think the same preparation could be accomplished. It would just be spread out in bits and pieces over a year period rather than compressed into getting it all at once in a 3-8 week period.
<p>A full-time mission is intense on a daily basis but also requires long-term focus. The MTC gives them a chance to live the gospel 100% during a few weeks in the MTC, which gives that day to day view of what the mission is like. But it doesn't do anything to prepare them to sustain their focus on something for a year or two. Focusing on mission preparation at a moderate level but for a full year or more beforehand will give them that long-term vision for their missions. Ideally they make changes and mature before leaving on their mission because of that sustained focus.
<p>Perhaps there is still a quick MTC experience, much shorter than they have now. Perhaps there is no MTC. Maybe it's just for those who didn't graduate from seminary (all the more incentive to go to seminary). Maybe it's just a quick check on progress with the language. I just can't think of anything they could learn better in the MTC than they will learn with their trainer after actually hitting the mission field or beforehand from their families, teachers, local missionaries, and priesthood leaders. There are no more discussions to memorize. Is there something the MTC does that can't be replicated elsewhere?Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-20228980259658791682013-06-07T09:47:00.000-07:002013-06-07T09:47:21.978-07:00Only stick with something if you like it<p>There's an interesting post over on Segullah about piano lessons and <a href="http://segullah.org/slice-of-life/should-you-let-your-kids-quit-taking-piano-lessons/">whether or not to allow your kids to quit</a> taking them.
<p>I play the piano, although not much more than hymns. I was ward organist for a couple years, mostly because no one else could play, not because I was that great. (I used the bass coupler rather than playing with the pedals, although I did take an organ class to try to learn to play with my feet.) I think it's a life skill to play the piano. You tune other instruments to the piano. You accompany people singing and other instruments with the piano. You learn the notes, many styles of music, and possibly more than that - a little bit of discipline.
<p>I do wish I was better at music theory and being able to do things like play jazz or make up songs on the fly or transpose music into another key on the fly. But I'm okay with being able to play most of the hymns and learning a song if I need to. I actually only took lessons for maybe 3 years. I don't remember wanting to quit or asking to quit or how lessons ended. It might have been a financial deal, as we didn't have a lot of money. I'll have to ask my parents. I just didn't take lessons anymore but kept up on my own. The first Sunday I turned 12, I was playing piano in priesthood meeting. Preparing a hymn and prelude for priesthood meeting was something that drove me to practice, because I needed to be able to play. I wasn't just practicing some scale for a piano teacher.
<p>My wife quit when she was young and wishes she could play better. A lot of people feel that same way. I know a lot of people quit and don't feel bad. A lot of people don't quit and do feel bad, because they hate music and their parents for it. Everyone is different.
<p>That said, I wonder about the culture that seems to be growing across the country, within and without the church to just embrace who you are and not try to push yourself to be something you're not. I get it, that we need to love ourselves, although not in a prideful way, and love others and accept them for who they are. That is great. But you can love and accept that you're not musical and still learn to play the piano. Whatever happened to <a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/46.8?lang=eng#7">seeking earnestly the best gifts</a>? In <a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/1-cor/12.31?lang=eng">1 Corinthians 12</a> Paul lists a ton of gifts and points out that not everyone has same gifts, but then finishes up by recommending that we develop the gifts we don't have.
<p>I don't pretend that piano is the be-all and end-all and that everyone really has to play, as my favorite line from Mulan goes, "Well, we can't all be acupuncturists." But back to the culture thing, the comments in the blog post I linked above are as telling as the post itself. One comment in particular says:
<blockquote>Why on earth would you force your children to do anything like that (music lessons, sports, whatever) if they don’t want to do it? Have them try different things and only stick with something if they like it. And you’re wrting about piano lessons as if every child takes piano lessons. That’s a rather odd thing to think.</blockquote>
<p>No, not everyone takes piano lessons. All the more reason to be the person who does. Seek the best gifts. Be the one who steps up where others have been afraid to. On my mission, in one area I was teaching our branch president how to play the piano. My parents bought a little learning how to play kit the church had in the distribution center and sent it to me, including a simplified hymnbook, and I left it with him when I left the area. He played one verse, one hand of a very simple hymn in sacrament meeting and completely slaughtered it, but he was learning. I could have played most hymns much better, but I would be gone in a few months, and who knew if the next elders who came would be able to play.
<p>The more disturbing part, however, is the first thought. <b>Only do something if you like it.</b> What if you don't like reading scriptures? Just stop reading them, I guess. What if you don't like cooking? Hope you marry someone who cooks well or get a good enough job you can afford to eat out all the time, I guess. What if you have a stubborn child who doesn't like doing anything you ask of them? Just stop asking them to do things, I guess.
<p>As much as I disliked the old lesson manuals and rarely taught from them, one thing has stuck with me from one of the lessons. I'd have to search to find which manual and lesson it was, but the idea was that young children may not be experienced enough to be able to understand spiritual promptings. (Sometimes they're more in tune than we are, but that's a different discussion.) But as parents and leaders of youth, our job is to help guide and direct those in our care in the same way the Spirit should be guiding and directing us. That way the youth learn to seek and find answers and follow the guidance they are given from someone they trust, eventually being able to transition away from listening to us and towards listening to the Spirit.
<p>Maybe it's the piano or maybe it's something else. Teach them to sacrifice and do things for others. Teach them to serve. Teach them a foreign language. Teach them to cook and clean up after themselves. Teach them to garden. Teach them to push themselves. Keep in mind, however, that your example is as important as what you're telling them. You practice the piano yourself, whether or not you already know how to play. I have a personal policy to not ask someone to do something that I'm not willing to do myself. Let them see that you're doing hard things, too, so they don't think we're just trying to live out our broken dreams through them or that we're being lazy and making them change a diaper just because we don't want to.
<p>If we don't try to push them to do something that would be good for them, what they'll learn is that they don't have to stick with anything they don't like because that's just how they are. When the Spirit prompts them to do something they don't want to do, they will have learned from us to ignore that prompting, as it will eventually go away like our promptings did. That’s a rather odd thing to teach.Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-79609840790534954552012-02-10T17:17:00.000-08:002012-02-10T18:00:16.316-08:00MissionsI was just thinking back on a recent post about <a href=http://mormonscoutmaster.blogspot.com/2011/10/agency.html>agency</a>, where I called out the fact that someone had placed not attending BYU in a list of other signs of apostasy, such as not going on a mission, not going to the temple, or not attending church. I started wondering if keeping the mission in that list is problematic.<br /><br />I was reading somewhere just barely and unfortunately forgot where, so I'm negligently plagiarizing here, about issues with boys who don't go on missions. What they were writing specifically about was those for whom the bar has been raised too high and are not allowed to go. The unfortunate side effect for some of these boys is to become estranged from the church, especially when the rules changed, and they saw that they were disqualified from going where others who had done the same things or worse just a few years previously were allowed to go. It's been a few years since those rules changed (at least to my knowledge), so I don't know that the changing standard rears its ugly head as often. Surely there are enough differences among zealous local leaders who may disallow someone that another lay leader might have let through that there are still some discrepancies there. As much as we do standardize, there is plenty left to the whim of poorly trained local leaders, especially those who didn't go to BYU, but even more so those who did go to BYU.<br /><br />Another group, of course, is those who choose not to go for whatever reason. I was talking with a brother who I home taught in one of my first visits with him. I asked him either where he went on his mission or if he had. He hadn't. The silence was uncomfortable for a second as I wasn't sure how to respond. I really wasn't judging him and still don't. It just took me by surprise, and I wasn't sure what to follow that up with. I still don't know why he didn't go but figure if at some point it is important, I will find out. Maybe he chose not to. Maybe he had a medical issue and wanted to but couldn't. He's a great guy and active member of the church with whom I've had some pretty deep gospel discussions, which is the way I think of him. More than anything, I wonder how it feels for him to have to deal with that question for the rest of his life no matter the reason for not going.Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-90189966330912860982011-12-28T11:50:00.000-08:002011-12-28T11:50:00.814-08:00Judge NotWe were out of town visiting extended family for Christmas. We attended sacrament meeting in a ward where we knew a few people from having lived there over a decade ago. As you can guess, there was a mixture of a few people that we knew well, a few people we recognized but couldn't remember their names, some we weren't sure if they remembered us, and then plenty of new people.<br /><br />While my wife was talking to one couple sitting right inside the chapel door, I was trying to get her to follow and get one of the few remaining soft benches before being relegated to the hard seats in the gym. I was holding the baby so I couldn't take off while she was still talking, since they were talking about the baby. We ended up sitting in the gym.<br /><br />The part that was strange, however, wasn't the conversation with that couple. It also wasn't that we had to sit on hard chairs. I'm okay with the hard chairs, but it's simply easier to deal with kids in the confined space of a bench than in an open gym.<br /><br />So where it got weird was the random people sitting next to the couple we were talking to. She's someone who we probably know but were having trouble placing. As we were showing off the baby to the couple we did know, the other lady out of nowhere starts commenting on the outfit the baby was dressed in. She was wearing a little Santa-esque outfit: satin red pants and matching flare waist top with a silver bow in the middle and silver shoes. She had a huge red bow on her head. To be fair, her car seat buckles probably covered up most of the bow on her top, the car seat head support may have partially blocked the huge bow (but no way it could have blocked all of it), she was wearing pants (at church, I know), and she has really short hair. To counter-counter-balance that, however, her carseat cover is very pink. So the lady we don't really remember and aren't talking to says something about "the things we do to our children" and then something about taking a picture of him and showing it to his fiance when he has one.<br /><br />Of course we ignored and walked away and then stewed about it later. Him? How could she not see the huge bow (it has its own weather system) or the pink carseat cover? How dare she call our baby girl a boy? Even if we did dress our man-child in red satin and silver shoes, what business is it of yours?<br /><br />Fast forward to after the sacrament. Several times during the talks and musical numbers, a teenage girl sitting in front of us, probably about 14 years old, leaves and comes back about 3 times. But it's not the fact that she can't sit in her seat for an hour that has me wondering; it was the length, or lack thereof, of her skirt. Her parents were turned around and looking at our new little one and commenting on how cute she was when she woke up and I picked her up during the sacrament, so obviously they have some sense of what's cute even if they don't have sense enough to comment on the cuteness until after the sacrament is over (or preferably the entire meeting). It all starts to come together as I begin judging them: talking during the sacrament, the father not wearing a white shirt, kids coming and going freely during the talks and music, daughter wearing inappropriate clothing...<br /><br />Then it hit me. Judge not that ye be not judged. Just as I hadn't liked having a random sister judge what my daughter was wearing, I shouldn't be judging what that family was wearing or what their actions were during the meeting. I can think of all kinds of reasons that someone might wear slightly inappropriate clothing to church or have to get up and go several times during the meeting, and whether or not any of those applied was none of my business.<br /><br />Of course, then I remembered Joseph Smith's correction. Judge not <i>unrighteously</i>. Maybe it is okay for me to judge; it was a very short skirt after all. But how do you know if you're judging righteously? As luck would have it, <a href="http://lds.org/ensign/1999/08/judge-not-and-judging?lang=eng">Elder Oaks gave a talk on this topic</a> several years ago. He points out that there are two types of judgment: final judgment (which is reserved for God to make) and intermediate judgment (which we are commanded to make according to righteous principles). Of course he then gives us the righteous principles by which we may know if we are righteously judging:<br /><ul><li>Refrain from declaring that a person has been assured of exaltation or from dismissing a person as being irrevocably bound for hellfire, since that is a final judgment.<br /><li>Judgment should be guided by the Spirit of the Lord, not by anger, revenge, jealousy, or self-interest (it is given unto you to judge, that ye may know good from evil; and the way to judge is as plain...as the daylight is from the dark night...for behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil).<br /><li>Judgment must be within our stewardship.<br /><li>Refrain from judging until we have adequate knowledge of the facts (perhaps thou shalt say: the man has brought upon himself his misery...whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent).<br /><li>Whenever possible we will refrain from judging people and only judge situations.<br /><li>Forgiveness is a companion principle to the commandment that in final judgments we judge not and in intermediate judgments we judge righteously (forgive, and ye shall be forgiven).<br /><li>A final ingredient or principle of a righteous judgment is that it will apply righteous standards (with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again).</ul>The easy part is I'm not the girl's father or YW leader, nor am I the family's Bishop or even home teacher. So, simply put, without going through all the other principles, it's not my stewardship, so it's none of my business.Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-72745399568365184802011-11-30T11:29:00.000-08:002011-12-27T13:50:35.196-08:00Pie HeavenTalking with a coworker in the middle of the holiday season, after Thanksgiving but before Christmas, the obvious topic of food came up. We have a saying in our family that "it's all about the food" when we get together. Her family has a similar deal, where they talk about how if there's no food in heaven, they don't want to go.<br /><br />A favorite Jack Handy quote of mine comes to mind.<br /><br /><blockquote>When you die, if you get a choice between regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it’s not, mmmmmmm, boy!</blockquote><br />Pie Heaven sounds pretty awesome to me, although I did just find out over Thanksgiving that I have an in-law who doesn't like pie. Who knew?<br /><br />As I was thinking about there being food in heaven, I thought of what we will be doing in heaven. The big goal is to become God, a creator of worlds. The funny picture came to mind of this powerful being sending his children down to build a world for which they had just finished the plans. As soon as everyone is gone, he turns around and makes this huge 5 pound burrito or 30 inch pizza appear. Is that why he creates worlds without number? He keeps sending everybody off to create new worlds so they'll leave him alone long enough that he can gorge himself, yet with a perfect body that doesn't suffer any ill effects.<br /><br />It sounds pretty ridiculous, because it is. It's great that we can find enjoyment through food, but part of the test of this life is to overcome those physical desires. A perfect godly body wouldn't feel cravings for pies and burritos. Chances are a perfect body would feel better all the time than the short-lived satisfaction you get from eating something sinfully delicious. If you can't get to a point where you're over food, you've probably got bigger problems.<br /><br />Coming back to our two families' thoughts on food in the first paragraph, they are obviously both a little exaggerated. We know there is much more to life than great food. Just as it's difficult for us to understand life where time does not apply, since that is an artificial constraint placed on us in this world, it's difficult to picture not having to eat.<br /><br />Unlike other sins, where complete abstinence is the command, you can't just stop eating. It almost makes it more difficult. It's certainly not a sin to eat a piece of pie, but where do you draw the line (or the wide gray swath)?<br /><br />Tie together our dependence on time and the need to eat, and things get even more difficult. Our busy lives make it harder to plan and prepare good-for-you food, so we eat whatever fast food garbage is available to us.<br /><br />I don't have any answers here, as I'm caught in the same trap. That said, I am looking forward to going to a heaven where I don't have to eat. Except when I want to.Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-21245606711311014912011-10-07T11:47:00.000-07:002011-10-07T11:47:00.155-07:00AgencyOn the comment board of a story about the freak Warren Jeffs, the discussion was being held about agency. Obviously there is some crazy brainwashing going on in the FLDS compounds. One commenter posited that LDS families are doing the same things to our children. His point was lost, however, when he threw out there that Warren Jeffs himself may not have been equipped well enough to make appropriate decisions given the abusive environment he grew up in. As true as that may be, my understanding is that abusive practice multiplied when he took over leadership.<br /><br />Regardless of whether Jeffs had enough knowledge of the outside world to make his own decisions, the question stands whether our children do.<br /><br />An interesting reply to the above:<br /><br /><blockquote>A large percentage of LDS boys don't go on missions. Large percentages don't go to BYU, or get married in the temple, or remain active after age 18. Many choose to leave the church. We don't throw them out of our families for making these choices. We continue to love them, pray for them, and be there for them whether or not we like their choices.<br /><br />We teach them as well as we can while they are young, but it's their choice and their decision. Most of our kids go to public schools, watch TV, have internet access, etc. They have plenty of opportunities for hearing other viewpoints. Just look at the number of former LDS who comment on these boards!</blockquote><br /><br />The point generally speaking is a valid one. We love them and teach them; they make their own decisions. The part I'm a bit concerned about is the first half of the second sentence. What does going to BYU have to do with the rest of that paragraph? No mission? Check. No temple? Check. No church attendance? Check. No go to BYU? Sorry, but that's not the same as forsaking and/or declining to make covenants with the Lord.Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-85031153768908965242011-09-23T16:07:00.000-07:002011-09-23T16:32:43.562-07:00Eagles and Driver LicensesI can't imagine my boys not earning their Eagles or my daughters not earning their Personal Progress. I would like my boys to earn their Duty to God, although I'm not as worried about that.<br /><br />I don't think it's appropriate to <a href="http://www.modernmormonmen.com/2011/06/when-you-get-your-eagle-son-you-can.html">hold something like a child's driver license</a> over earning such an award.<br /><br />I like the idea of teaching our children correct principles, modeling those principles in our own lives, and then giving them enough rope to either be productive or hang themselves. Not literally. Obviously at some point you step in and take drastic steps to avoid major life changing issues.<br /><br />Children who are rebellious, lazy, doing poorly in school (I'm thinking really poorly, not just like B average poorly, but to the extent where they are being irresponsible), bad drivers, or otherwise not deserving of a driver license should not receive their driver license. That's probably not the real list but rather one I just made up right now and am not going to think much about. The point is that each child is different, so when it becomes time that it is an issue, you work it out with each child individually.<br /><br />I can see daughter #2 coming straight out and telling us she doesn't even want to drive even if deep down she is desperate to. If there is something she is worked up about related to some award she doesn't want to be pressured to get, everything else in the entire world, good or bad, can be stacked up on every side, and she will retain her laser focus on not wanting to earn the stupid award. She will even be convinced herself that she doesn't want to drive. Until she wants to, at which point she will forget that she just told us 5 minutes ago that she doesn't care if she can drive.<br /><br />Daughter #1 will have her Personal Progress earned the first day it is possible to have it whether or not there is any external reward for it.<br /><br />The kids will be expected to help shuttle their siblings around as part of earning the privilege of driving. My parents didn't make me pay for my portion of the car insurance, but I think it's a good idea for them to understand at a deeper level that the cost of a vehicle is more than just the gas you put into it. Better grades and no tickets means lower insurance costs. You have to find a job and balance your time wisely in order to keep your grades up and earn the money you need and still participate in family and school activities.<br /><br />I want my children to be responsible. If they are, they will probably earn their oh-so-important awards anyway just because they are responsible. If they are not responsible, not earning their awards may be a sign of that. They may also be very responsible but simply have to make decisions about what is important to them and the Eagle or Personal Progress may not be that. With the kids in my troop, I can tell within a few weeks of working with them whether or not they will get their Eagle. I think I know my kids a lot better than that so there should be no surprise to anyone if they earn it or not.Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-66495505236368572552011-08-19T19:54:00.000-07:002011-08-19T20:16:28.933-07:00Women's SuffragePresident Obama's campaign blog posted yesterday about it being <a href="http://www.barackobama.com/news/down-to-the-wire-ninety-one-years-of-votes-for-women">91 years since women were allowed to vote</a> in the country, when Tennessee ratified the 19th amendment.
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<br />It's just interesting to note how several states, including highly Mormon Idaho, Wyoming, and Utah gave women the right to vote decades earlier. No need to mention that in your blog, though, since you won't be getting any of those states' electoral votes anyway.Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-89144025488709770662011-07-31T19:47:00.000-07:002011-08-03T08:25:35.529-07:00HairWe had a stake swim party this past week. There were three interesting hair-related thoughts I had, all related to different types of hair.<br /><br />One was seeing a dude that was just covered in back and chest hair. We're talking a Sasquatch coat here. I've never been so thankful to have so little body hair than when I saw this man at the pool.<br /><br />Second was a conversation I had with my bishop and several other ward members. I generally shave on Sundays for church and on days I go into the office. This past week I didn't go into the office, so hadn't shaved for close to a week. I didn't think much of it but had a decent beard going, which apparently threw a lot of people off.<br /><br />Last was my daughter. The sun was going down and those intense, colorful last few rays shone through her red hair and made it glow like the dying embers of a late night campfire. It was truly stunning.Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-34690336836822514222011-06-30T23:24:00.001-07:002012-03-20T08:43:20.634-07:00The Lesser Law of CorrelationWhile I've heard or read a few different people talking recently about how boring, unspiritual, or somewhat stifling our church meetings are sometimes, especially sacrament meetings, I rarely feel the same way.<br /><br />I feel like I get out of church meetings what I put into it. The best way to get something out of temple attendance, sacrament meeting attendance, participating in sunday school classes, scripture reading, prayers, etc. is to go into it with a question in mind. Whatever the topic, start thinking and asking questions about it, and very quickly everything you see will be focused around that topic. It's pretty amazing to watch.<br /><br />One of our local leaders recently gave a presentation regarding how many of the changes coming from church headquarters are actually moving away from the bureaucratic, centralized direction of the past in favor of more direction from local leaders. Examples of this are the new church handbook, recent changes to the Duty to God program, the ward council structure, etc.<br /><br />If anything, they are putting the ball in our court to see what we will do with it without being commanded in all things. If we're not ready for the higher law, we're going to go back to correlation and centralization. I don't think that's good for anyone, but if we're only ready for the lesser law at this time, it's all we're going to get.Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-90620817158646021902011-05-31T20:22:00.000-07:002011-06-01T08:36:38.082-07:00FamilyYou occasionally hear people talking about families, love at home, etc. and how it's sometimes family members that get treated the worst. We put on a respectful act for others, but at home we let the real us go. How is it that the people we love the most are the people we treat the poorest?<br /><br />As I've thought about that train of thought a little, I think it's a little disingenuous. The thought is a nice one, that we should treat our family members better. However, there are two things about the above "poor treatment" of family members that may really show the love we have for each other.<br /><br />The first may be a little bit of a stretch, but I still think it's important. We are ourselves around our family. We don't put on a show for them like we do for other people. Yes, sometimes you hide things from your mom that you don't want her to know you're doing, but for the most part, it's raw, not an act.<br /><br />The second is the most important. Forgiveness. No matter how many times family members have arguments, disagreements, fights, provocations, etc., we come back together and immediately forgive. We still spend time together, have fun together, and love each other.<br /><br />With other relationships, if a friend causes that many problems, they may eventually be cut loose but not with family. Family is forever. Of course, there are extreme counter examples to both, but my guess is that forgiveness is the rule in families more often than it is not.Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-90801976521362133322011-04-30T17:11:00.000-07:002011-05-01T17:37:25.689-07:00Wood Badge SpiritThere truly is a spirit to Wood Badge. It has the power to change lives. The courses I have been involved with in the past have done so for me and for many others that I know. I was able to serve on another course recently, and it didn't disappoint.<br /><br />I'll write more about some of my experiences and feelings soon, but for now I wanted to mention how true it is that for anything good, there is an evil force working against it.<br /><br />If the people who are too scared/cool/busy/etc. to go, including members of several Bishoprics and Stake Presidencies that I know, not to mention people who consider themselves to be pretty dedicated Scouters, had any idea what awaited them at Wood Badge, they would run to it. I know some people who have seen enough others go through it that the reason they avoid it is because they don't want to commit to the increased dedication that results from it. Most people just have no idea.<br /><br />I really liken recruiting for Wood Badge to the mission: visiting everyone you know, telling them about something that is special to you and that you know will make their lives better. Just like investigators on the mission will be scared off by family members, nosy neighbors, or an evil spirit, the same happens with Wood Badge. I've seen enough miracles to know that the right people will eventually make it to the right course.<br /><br />How great it would be if we had ten times as many members of the church Wood Badge trained! Oh that I were an angel.Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-79213104388829036172011-03-23T21:02:00.000-07:002011-03-23T21:35:13.018-07:00Changing or CheatingSome ward members started a fitness challenge, and I'm joining in. I do much better at keeping myself in shape when I have someone other than myself that I'm accountable to. The chance at winning cash doesn't hurt either. I've done well at a few of these challenges done through work or with family.<br /><br />The funny thing is that I see the same behavior in some participating in this challenge as I've seen in previous ones. The behavior I'm referring to is nitpicking the rules of the challenge.<br /><br />The point of a challenge like this is to spend a 2-3 months following more healthy practices with the hope that you'll stay in the habit after the challenge is over. So it's strange when a challenge barely starts and everyone starts immediately looking for ways to bend the rules.<br /><br />The rules are things like eating fruits and vegetables, exercising, not eating late at night, drinking lots of water, and laying off the sweets. It's pretty simple.<br /><br />One good brother justified his willingness to bend the rules and eat things he shouldn't, because he claims that cutting out certain foods simply isn't sustainable. I'll give him that. Making a change for a few months and then picking the habit back up after it's over is probably less than useful. On the other hand, going cold turkey and dropping something that you never thought you could forgo can actually show you it's possible and reduce your cravings for that particular food or drink.<br /><br />I know, because I've done it myself, going a year without carbonated drinks just to see if I could. I drink them occasionally now, but not near as much as I used to. If you're so hooked on a food or drink that you don't think you could ever give it up, that's probably a signal that you do need to give it up.<br /><br />I'm okay with him cheating, though, because it's less competition for me as I go for the big prize.Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-85299150898060375622011-02-09T22:51:00.000-08:002011-02-09T23:41:23.810-08:00YogaI had a strange conversation with my boss about a month ago that made more sense today.<br /><br />It was just the two of us in his office, and somehow the conversation turned to Yoga. I really don't remember how, and it doesn't matter. He mentioned he had started doing it at home. Fine. He had some DVDs he was using to learn it. Okay. You feel like you're standing or sitting there doing nothing, breathing deeply, and you end up way sore the next day; it's a great workout. Sounds interesting.<br /><br />Then it gets weird. He starts saying something and then pauses for a second and says, "I know you're Mormon, and I really don't want you to take this the wrong way, but what I really like about Yoga is how it's all about the individual. It's about what you do to benefit yourself personally. You can introspect and modify things however best suits your needs."<br /><br />Okay, so what does that have to do with being Mormon? I could kind of guess where he was going with it, that he obviously has some issue where he thinks the LDS Church is too controlling or something. It was just hard to say. Last I remember we teach about the importance of agency, self-reliance, and similar doctrines, but I understand the confusion caused by being cautioned against detrimental behaviors which often serve to remove agency.<br /><br />So turn off the wayback machine, and we're at a conference that has some early morning Yoga for attendees. Not having ever done Yoga before, I'm interested and go. I knew he was interested, having told me previously he likes it, so I tell him he should come tomorrow. Then the connection is made. He says that he's not into organized religion or organized exercise.<br /><br />So he apparently has this little schpiel he gives, and apparently the first time he only gave me the half about not liking organized exercise, forgetting to mention organized religion other than to ensure me he wasn't trying to demean my choice in subscribing to organized religion.<br /><br />It makes me wonder if I sometimes tell a story so many times it becomes old and memorized to the point where I go on auto-pilot and don't pay attention to whether I told all the important parts. Maybe it's kind of like when you copy and paste a sentence, and it doesn't quite fit in its new location. So you delete a word or two and fix the capitalization and punctuation to make it fit without realizing that it still doesn't make sense.<br /><br />I'm not totally sure how he knows I'm LDS, since we've never talked about it, although I have some guesses. I don't take offense to his choice to reject organized religion. I'm assuming his contempt is general to all organized religions. While I understand it better now, so it's less strange, it's still a bit off that two discussions on exercise have brought in at least a mention of religion. Granted, Yoga has religious roots, but the way it's practiced here in the states is pretty nonreligious in nature.Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-40613884307497212862011-01-12T15:53:00.000-08:002011-01-12T16:56:38.946-08:00Now I'll demonstrate the wrong wayAmong the many things Wood Badge teaches are diversity, teamwork, and listening.<br /><br />I had an interesting experience where the staff of a Wood Badge course I'm serving on was going through some training. The goal in these trainings is to be prepared to teach but to also practice the very things we're teaching in order to become a high performing team just in time for the course.<br /><br />We were in a little bit of a hurry, trying to wrap up in time for some things a few people had to get to, and it had been a long day.<br /><br />I should also point out that there were several of the staff who had served on one or more courses together previously, and throughout the time we've met together, they are always talking about things that happened in other courses. Most of the time, the Course Director was very good to explain what they were talking about and point out that there shouldn't be any types of insider jokes and discussions. That's part of the diversity thing. If you have to have it explained to you, however, that still makes you feel like an outsider.<br /><br />Brother Lindsay, who will be serving as the course Senior Patrol Leader was trying to help keep the agenda moving along so we could wrap up. I have to say that he is one of the most interesting, kind, funny people I've ever met and is obviously a wonderful leader. However, he totally blew off some of the core principles we had just barely gone over in his hurry to get through everything.<br /><br />We were planning ideas for a campfire, and when we got to having some type of spiritual or touching story as the fire is dying down, he pointed at one of the other staff members who happens to be a Bishop and volunteered him to do that piece, and we moved on. Whoa, what just happened? I actually had a story in mind that I was thinking about. It's a dear experience to me, so I didn't want to go blabbing about it, but it would be very applicable in such a situation. I still have a chance to share it, as I'll just talk to the guy in charge of the campfire. I just have to go out of my way to do it now. If it wasn't important to me or if in some way I actually felt like I had been slighted, I'd just blow it off and stew about it.<br /><br />For me, the incident wasn't a big deal (in spite of my blogging about it now), and doesn't change my opinion of him; it just helps to make me more aware of how hard it is to be on your game all the time. If a man as good as him fails at using the principles we've just barely been talking about, how much more do I need to try to make sure I'm not forgetting the same things? That is part of why we do so many meetings before the course, so we can build relationships with each other before the course starts. It's always a work in progress.<br /><br />I can totally see where some of the problems arose in the old Wood Badge. There used to be these insider groups that ran all the courses, and there wasn't a good way to get on a staff. It was always just the same group. This led to some inbreeding and stagnation of sorts that put people off. Because of this, they put some rules in place with the current course where once you've been a Course Director, you can no longer serve on a Wood Badge staff, and a certain percentage of every staff has to be comprised of first time staffers. I think this is a good thing, but it doesn't prevent all problems.Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-30453455611562577392010-12-13T12:22:00.000-08:002010-12-13T12:22:00.417-08:00Confusion at ChristmasI was looking for a chapter in the Book of Mormon that talked about Mary, Christ's birth, his baptism, and his life. It's something I shared fairly often on my mission. I wanted to find it, as it's Christmas time, but for whatever reason I couldn't remember where it was. I googled it, and surprisingly had a really hard time getting it to come up. Eventually I found it by looking through the chapter headings of the first and second books of Nephi. It was in the second half of <a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/1-ne/11?lang=eng#13">1 Nephi 11</a>. Through some footnotes, I was also able to find <a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/7.9-17?lang=eng#9">Alma 7</a>, which teaches a similar lesson.<br /><br />What I did find when I was googling the topic kind of took me off guard. I suppose it shouldn't have, since I've read other similar anti stuff before, but I didn't realize how much debate there was out there on the particular topic of the virgin birth.<br /><br />I don't like wasting a ton of time on this kind of stuff, as I'm aware of how it sucks away the spirit. It ends up being kind of a vicious cycle, where the more anti stuff you read, the less the spirit is present, and the more confused you become. That, of course, is a specific sign that something is wrong, but if enough confusion is present, you can actually be so confused that you interpret everything backwards. That is, you may incorrectly interpret that your confusion means the church is wrong, rather than that the anti literature is wrong.<br /><br />I'm not going to give them any link love, but they're easy enough to find if you really want. In several sites I glanced through, however, it became apparent that they were all parroting the same basic argument. So one person put together this little logic chain, and everyone has copied that person. One guy even talked about how much research he'd put into his writeup, although it became quite clear that he was relying completely on secondary and tertiary sources. What I mean by that is that his research was just copying and pasting anti literature from other people's websites.<br /><br />This particular guy that claimed he did so much research did have a relatively comprehensive review of the anti literature on the topic. Among his claims are that we believe that Mary was not a virgin and that she committed incest (sex with both her father and brother). The way their logic chain works is that they quote Ezra Taft Benson, Brigham Young, and others pointing out that the words of a modern prophet trump the written words of past prophets (i.e., the scriptures). Then they quote, out of context, some early church leaders saying that Jesus was conceived the same way we were, physically, not by a spirit. Since the modern prophet disagreed with what it says in the Book of Mormon and Bible, we therefore believe something different than is written in the scriptures. We don't actually teach that, but then they claim that we have changed our teachings to be more in line with the real Christian world, so we don't even realize that we believe something totally different. What? Do you feel the confusion yet? If you do, it's because this is completely false and wrong.<br /><br />It's practically ridiculous and a waste of time to even talk about, and yet here I am.<br /><br />Even in the contextless quotes I read on these sites, not having been back to read the primary sources yet myself, I see nothing in any of them that is out of line with what we believe nor with what the scriptures teach. There are several general authorities who say Jesus was conceived the same way we are. Okay, so <a href="http://wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=conception">conception</a>, as defined by Princeton's WordNet, is "the act of becoming pregnant; fertilization of an ovum by a spermatozoon". Just like when the rest of us were conceived, an egg was fertilized.<br /><br />The Holy Ghost does not have a body, so of course would not have sperm. The Father does. I don't pretend to know exactly how this process happened, but I do know that artificial insemination is a fairly common process nowadays. While the joke is likely often told about the doctor impregnating thousands of women, no one really thinks of the doctor who facilitates the pregnancy as the father. The sperm donor is the physical father. Is it a stretch that the Holy Ghost delivered the Father's sperm through an act other than intercourse?<br /><br />The obvious anti answer to this will generally include the term 'cognitive dissonance' or 'belief disconfirmation' or some such other description of the psychological process by which one changes or ignores certain components of their beliefs that are discongruent. Then, of course, if you ask the person you're talking to how they think Jesus was conceived, if they'll even give you a straight answer, they'll say that there is no father or that Jesus is his own father or the Holy Ghost is the father or they'll get into the whole Trinity thing about how they're 3 yet 1 at the same time, etc. In all that, they won't be able to explain the process by which conception took place. To me, their statements make less sense and are filled with just as much cognitive dissonance or belief disconfirmation, if not more than what we believe, especially given that while others disagree with what we teach, they also disagree greatly with each other.<br /><br />I do not believe it is blasphemy that we can become as God, seeing that many scriptures teach that we may <a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/nt/rom/8.16-18?lang=eng#16">inherit God's glory</a>. I believe it is a great blessing that we have such a potential. Isn't it wonderful, as Nephi and Alma taught in the verses I linked to in the first paragraph above, that Jesus condescended to be with us and suffer the things we suffer so that he might have direct knowledge with which to bless us and help us? That is the story of Christmas. It is not confusion and debate as to the nature of God but rather an understanding that God knows what we go through and loves us.Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-56042704875144395572010-12-10T08:40:00.000-08:002010-12-10T11:42:19.784-08:00PredispositionI was just talking to a friend of mine about her efforts to transform into a morning person. It's something I've struggled with myself. I always worry on campouts that I'll be outed as a terrible leader, because everyone but me is awake, ready to pack up and head out. I haven't had that actually happen, since I usually do wake up earlier on campouts due to discomfort, but I'm not generally the first one up and at 'em. I was 20 minutes late to the gym this morning, because I had a hard time getting up after being up late watching a movie.<br /><br />I've wondered sometimes if it really matters. Like this blogger says, <a href="http://ungertakers.blogspot.com/2008/12/word-about-discrimination.html">maybe we're just born different</a>. Why should we let ourselves be discriminated against? Why not push our employers to let us change to a 10-6 or 11-7 work schedule? Maybe we'd be better off moving to the East Coast and then working remotely for a company located on the West Coast. Perhaps there's an outsourcing market for that. Companies that don't want to completely offshore their work could hire slews of night people that live in a planned community in the middle of West Virginia where the curfew would be 4-9 a.m.<br /><br />Then I remember Ben Franklin's refrain, which is mirrored in the Doctrine and Covenants, about <a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/88.124?lang=eng#124">going to bed early and waking up early</a>. An important piece of context that really only softens the blow slightly is the part of the verse that says not to sleep longer than is necessary. I think we can understand that the point is, at least in part, that we shouldn't just sleep our lives away. Focusing just on that part, it would be easy to justify that sleeping in until 10 is okay if you went to bed at 3 a.m., since 7 hours of sleep would not be considered too much. The problem is that it's hard to misinterpret the Lord's point about going to bed and arising early. Of course this doesn't account for night shifts and other strange work schedules, and I'm not going to address that here.<br /><br />Jumping back a little to verse 121 may provide a little more context. Light-mindedness and lust are more likely to be present at night than in the wee morning hours. Larry Lawrence explained in this last General Conference, <a href="http://lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/courageous-parenting">"I have always believed that nothing really good happens late at night"</a>. It's probably true.<br /><br />So even though us night people may be more productive at night, it ends up being a problem, since that's also when temptation and weakness are most prevalent. Of course, not everyone is going to just start giving into temptation simply because they are up late.<br /><br />Looking to the Word of Wisdom, where it is explained that <a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/89.3?lang=eng#3">this counsel is adapted to the weakest of the Saints</a>, it helps to understand the all or nothing nature of many of the commandments. There are people who could drink a glass of wine with dinner a couple nights a week and be fine, but for the benefit of those who are predisposed alcoholics, it is completely forbidden for all. That said, it took 100 years for the Word of Wisdom to be phased in as a requirement for all, though even now <a href="http://mormonscoutmaster.blogspot.com/2010/02/law.html">there remains some debate</a> on the subject.<br /><br />I'm going to go a direction here that I almost decided not to go, but I think it's an important point of comparison that has helped me. I want to first say that I have friends who I love and respect that are gay, and I'm involved in a local group that seeks to tear down the walls of hatred and misunderstanding related to sexual identity. Hopefully this doesn't serve to cause more contention in the matter, as we know there has been plenty of it to go around already.<br /><br />If you haven't read that first link I posted, go read it now and then come back. The call to end discrimination by morning people against night people mirrors in some small way the fight against discrimination related to sexual identity. Please remember, I'm trying to say this in a way that doesn't marginalize sexual identity issues but rather reframes to some extent the morning/night person issue.<br /><br />Of course we shouldn't discriminate against anyone for any reason. I've been treated poorly for being LDS. I feel most of society couldn't care less about the plight of us colorblind (or color deficient as the more commonly accurate term). I have gay friends who have been treated unfairly. It's not right. The movie <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chocolat_%282000_film%29">Chocolat</a> is a good example of the senseless hatred that can arise from treating someone poorly because of perceived differences and self-righteousness.<br /><br />That said, taking a predisposition for certain weaknesses as a challenge to work on and overcome is an important part of our sojourn on earth. We shouldn't discriminate against others for the issues they have to deal with but rather focus on our own problems and be available to provide support for others in their quests as they need it. Likewise, to embrace our predispositions and flaunt them as natural and impossible to deal with is disingenuous.<br /><br />It is very hard to balance all these issues without being branded insensitive or worse. My point is that as I work on my own predisposition as a night person, it helps me to know that others have struggled with and overcome predispositions for much more difficult things and helps me to understand, even if just to a limited extent, what they go through.<br /><br />Something that has helped me as I try to arise earlier (maybe not at 4 a.m. like my dad and father-in-law) is to schedule an early time before work at the gym with other people. Getting my exercise in has helped me get in shape, and knowing there are others expecting me to be there has helped keep me motivated when it's so easy to slip back to sleep (yes, it's happened on more than one occasion). Get up at 6 a.m. enough days in a row, and you'll find your body will wake itself up at that time even without the alarm clock, and it's a lot easier to go to bed by 10 p.m., since you'll be so wiped out from being up so early. As controversial as President Packer's last talk in General Conference was, the advice he gives us is important in overcoming whatever we happen to be working on. <a href="http://lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/cleansing-the-inner-vessel">Decide to exercise your God-given agency and don't look back</a>. Even as inviting as those warm blankets are.Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-60529018343585555052010-11-30T09:56:00.000-08:002010-12-09T10:19:23.049-08:00A Tale of Two Unit CommissionersI'm serving on a Wood Badge staff within the next year, so I've started reaching out to various people I know, from family to friends to fellow scouters and members of current and past wards and stakes to see who is interested in moving to the next level.<br /><br />It's always interesting to see the various reactions of people. It runs the whole range from apathy to being excited about learning to being burned out from too much training to being worried about gaining a testimony of Scouting.<br /><br />I talked to a member of our stake YM presidency. Just in case you didn't know, that makes him a Unit Commissioner in Scouting parlance, and no, he didn't know that's what he was. He basically said that he thinks Scouting is outdated and not interesting to the boys. He did leave it open that he could possibly be convinced to go. This is the guy I really need to get to WB.<br /><br />Then I talked to a colleague I have both professional and church connections to. He's also in the stake YM presidency (of a neighboring stake). He knows very well that he's a Unit Commissioner, knows what he's supposed to do, and even does it. That blew me away. It will be great for him to go, but if I could only choose one of the two to attend the course, I'd choose the first, because he obviously needs it more.<br /><br />Just to touch on my comment above about being afraid to gain a testimony of Scouting, I've heard similar comments from a few different people. One was a SM friend who was worried that going to WB would turn him into a super-nerdy-scouter along the lines of a mutual acquaintance. I told him that the fact that he was aware of such a thing as super-nerdy-scoutiness was sufficient to ensure he wouldn't become that. Then last week, Sister Smyth and I were out to dinner with some friends. One of the guys had been to WB also, and the other was thinking about it. For the one thinking about it, his worry was literally that he had seen the increased dedication and what change had come upon the two of us who had been, and he wasn't sure if he was ready to be hit with something like that. I confirmed with him that if he wasn't ready to gain a testimony of the scouting program, he shouldn't come to WB. But I hope he does.Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-2312451039237327602010-10-26T00:02:00.000-07:002010-10-26T00:43:02.125-07:00One Lord, One Faith, and One BaptismIn talking about <a href="http://mormonscoutmaster.blogspot.com/2010/10/chartered-organization.html">the different ways the LDS Church has implemented Scouting</a>, compared to other chartered organizations, I can't help but think about different modes of baptism as well.<br /><br />A few years back, a story hit the news circuit about how the <a href="http://articles.latimes.com/2001/jul/20/news/mn-24451">Catholics would no longer accept LDS baptisms</a> but rather require that converts from Mormonism to Catholicism be rebaptized. This was supposedly a blow to our attempts over the past decade or more to appear more Christian to other churches around us.<br /><br />Well, in case you hadn't noticed, we don't accept anyone else's baptism. So what's the big deal if they take ours or not? I know it's strange that Catholics and Protestants would share their baptisms with each other but not with us. It does display a lack of respect and understanding on their part. But if someone has left the church and joined another one, shouldn't that just be considered standard practice that they are baptized by their new church?<br /><br />An influential leader in the Episcopalian church, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carolyn_Tanner_Irish">Carolyn Tanner Irish</a>, was raised LDS, left the church when she went off to college, and eventually joined the Episcopalian ministry and became a Bishop in that church. She was never rebaptized, but some people wanted her to, since the Episcopalians don't accept our baptism either. It was ruled, however, that since back in the day when she left our church for theirs, they did accept our baptisms; even though that policy was changed later, she would not have to then be baptized again.<br /><br />We believe that a baptism must be done by the power of the Priesthood and in the right form, under direction of the appropriate presiding authorities according to the keys they hold. If anyone rejects that covenant and goes after what we would consider to be a false church, who cares if they are rebaptized or not? It's nice to know we have that power and that we are guided by revelation to make those decisions, instead of having to just argue about what policies to set.Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-14274506921103436482010-10-22T14:35:00.001-07:002010-10-26T00:02:32.331-07:00The Chartered OrganizationThere's a story making its way around about LDS parents who volunteered for a non-LDS Pack until their religion became known, at which point <a href="http://www.witn.com/home/headlines/105310173.html">they were basically kicked out</a>.<br /><br />It's unfortunate that there is still misunderstanding about the nature of our beliefs and whether or not we are Christian. It's too bad helpful volunteers were turned away. It's also too bad people don't seem to understand that there's nothing wrong with the Christ Covenant Church deciding they didn't want the Stokes volunteering.<br /><br />The chartered organization has a great deal to say about how the units it sponsors are run, including who it chooses as adult leaders of its programs, but there are many other unique things about how we implement Scouting.. Members of Varsity Teams can be aged 14-17, but in LDS units, they are only 14-15. (If you really want to get into it, the Varsity program was started by members of the LDS church and very few units are chartered by other groups, but that's a different conversation.) Venturing Crews can consist of both boys and girls aged 14-21, but in LDS units, they only take boys aged 16-17. LDS units don't use the Tiger Cubs program, which interestingly enough was the reason the Stokes didn't have their sons join the LDS Pack in their ward; they wanted their youngest son to be a Tiger Cub. Webelos aren't allowed to go camping in LDS units. Boys in an LDS-sponsored 11-year-old patrol can only go camping three nights during the year and are not allowed to have activities with the deacons, except in special, pre-approved occasions.<br /><br />Need I go on? We do things differently. I know there are LDS units that have had non-LDS parents as volunteers, and I know there are LDS units that have rejected non-LDS parents as volunteers. There is not clear direction on the matter, so it's obviously something left up to local leaders to decide.<br /><br />The LDS Church has a lot of sway over directions that BSA takes. <a href="http://www.scouting.org/About/FactSheets/operating_orgs.aspx">We are the largest sponsor</a>, both in terms of units and number of boys. It's my understanding that until recently, the Methodists had more boys, but since we had more sponsored units, we could still outvote them. As it is, they're not far behind us in terms of total number of boys, but we have over three times as many units as they do. Doing the math, you find that LDS units have on average the lowest number of boys per unit at 11, a full 2.5 SD below the mean of 27. We break up our units based on wards, which leads to an unnaturally small number of boys in each. Really, each quorum should be a patrol in a stake troop, but I digress.<br /><br />We just really shouldn't get so worked up about others doing things differently than we expect, when we also do many things differently ourselves. Part of the strength of the BSA is the flexibility they give COs to adjust the program as they see fit. We benefit from it and should allow others to take advantage of that option as well.Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-10980204269963638212010-10-22T14:04:00.001-07:002010-10-22T14:21:11.797-07:00General ConferenceI had a great time tweeting conference earlier this month. It was a pretty amazing experience. I watched every session, didn't fall asleep during any of them, and got great messages out of them.<br /><br />I have an archive of about 20,000 tweets with the #ldsconf hashtag. I've played around with it a little and will be posting soon some analysis of it. I plan on doing a comparison of what people were tweeting about compared to what each speaker's talk was about. I'll probably start with a more general word analysis first, then be a little more thorough on certain talks. I just think it would be interesting to see how well the message people were getting matched up with what the speakers were actually saying.<br /><br />Just to throw out something to think about while waiting for further analysis, the top words, each with over 400 appearances are:<br /><br />s<br />elder<br />god<br />conference<br />love<br />t<br />monson<br />president<br />know<br />good<br />prophet<br />pres<br />life<br />church<br />time<br />just<br />holy<br />uchtdorf<br />faith<br />like<br />packer<br />need<br />ghost<br />m<br />lord<br />children<br />work<br />today<br />don<br />family<br />christ<br />world<br />things<br />talk<br />weekend<br />gratitude<br />great<br /><br />Those are in highest frequency to lowest frequency order, but I've left off the numbers, so it doesn't distract too much. It's interesting that the three standalone letters are the prophet's initials, TSM, and they also happen to be letters that commonly show up after an apostrophe. I'm assuming that's why the word "don" made the list, as it should have probably been "don't". I may have to try stripping out apostrophes and running the numbers again to see how that changes things.<br /><br />Stay tuned.Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-26173250429459092782010-09-20T22:48:00.000-07:002010-09-20T23:08:10.618-07:00This is the worst campsite ever.Time for a funny story from camp. I wish I'd have been able to make it, even with not being the Scoutmaster anymore. I had some other commitments and was unable to attend, though. It's been a long time since I missed a summer camp.<br /><br />So I had made reservations for summer camp well over 6 months early and specifically picked a certain campsite that was off by itself, large, yet with a sweet little spot where you can park your car and not have to handcart or pack your stuff all over the place.<br /><br />Apparently by the end of the week, nerves were wearing thin, and some of the boys were looking for things to complain about. Nothing new there. :) They started saying how much they hated their site. It was so far away, not enough trees, too close to the road, blah, blah. They were all united in being upset that the camp director had put them out in this wasteland.<br /><br />That was until the new SM, Brother Bentley, had enough with the griping. He pointed out that the camp director didn't stuff them out in no man's land. Smyth made the reservation, and he chose the campsite. Look at the other sites. They're tiny or there are groups of 5 or 6 of them piled on top of each other or they're right on a busy trail so everyone is walking around or through their camps all day.<br /><br />Oh. Well, yeah, I mean, Smyth picked a good site. Yeah, it's pretty nice, with water close by and a big area to spread out our tents in, and everybody isn't cutting through our camp all the time.<br /><br />It was great. As soon as they knew I had picked the site, they liked it. I had picked it for all those reasons, since I'd been there before. It's just funny how quickly the tune changed, and it made me feel good that the complaints stopped when they knew I had hooked them up with an awesome site, whereas when they thought it came from some random dude they didn't know, it was a terrible site.Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-89329212063180107452010-09-20T22:39:00.000-07:002010-09-20T22:48:38.703-07:00Time OffI've gotten used to it. Not being the SM, that is. I was released with some reorganization that was done in the ward a little while ago, and I haven't gotten around to coming back here to talk about it. Part of it is because of the mixed feelings I have. The Bishop didn't want to burn me out too much, especially with some grad school stuff going on. I'm still serving on the Troop Committee, so I help out where I can.<br /><br />The thing that has slapped me around and brought me back to the blog after a 5 month hiatus (that was after a year of posting at least once a month), is that I was just asked to be on Woodbadge staff again. I'm excited about it. I hope to be able to recruit some great people in our ward and stake.<br /><br />It has been great to see the new Scoutmaster picking up all the training and going to some great council-sponsored activities. The new guys are doing a great job. I hope I can get at least one of them to my Woodbadge course.Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2537272297438229836.post-35196437548829227692010-04-12T14:39:00.000-07:002010-04-12T16:05:40.056-07:00Call it what you will, so long as you DO ITI've been more worried about the Varsities in our ward and whether they'll be having a high adventure activity this summer. I finally got around to talking to their leaders this Sunday at church and found out that they do, in fact, have an idea of what they're doing. They don't have a date set, but they have a location and some activity ideas. Okay, now if I can just figure out what happened to the three volume Program Feature book that I gave to the semi-inactive former Varsity Coach, the Varsities should be in pretty good shape.<br /><br />For some reason, I was thinking the Priests were going to be in much better shape. I just happened to ask one of their new leaders what they were doing for their high adventure this summer. He said he didn't think they were doing anything, since the YM President said that's a scouting thing, and they don't really do scouting stuff.<br /><br />Arg. Do we really have to start this up again? I explained that while it's optional to register the Priests as a Venture Crew or just run as a priesthood quorum, whether or not you're running as a scouting unit, you should always have a high adventure activity. I got to go on three as a Priest: camping out at a huge lake for waterskiing and cliff diving, a whitewater rafting trip, and a cycling trip. They didn't go a full week, but went probably 2-4 days apiece. We spent a lot of time getting ready for the cycling one, but pretty much just showed up to the other ones. I don't remember having anything to do with the choosing or planning of the activities like we should have done, either. But we did something.<br /><br />Over the past few years in our ward, the Priests have done things decidedly less high adventure than what I did when I was younger, notably paintballing and hanging out at a cabin while cooking Dutch Oven. But they did something.<br /><br />The Priests now are the same group of boys who I had as Varsities. When I was called by the Bishop, he told me they hadn't had a summer activity the previous year, and my number one responsibility was to make sure they had a high adventure activity the next summer. We did. Actually, we had two three-day high adventure activities, which I hope kind of made up for not having anything the previous year. Oh yeah, and we made some sweet throwing tomahawks.<br /><br />To ditch out on the boys the last year, because doing a high adventure activity would be too scouty or because it's hard to find time to do it is just lame. The boys deserve to go out big and have something to remember the rest of their lives. They deserve to have a chance to put into practice all the leadership and survival skills they've been learning over the past decade, more than half of their life at that point.<br /><br />It's also important for the younger scouts to see the awesome activities the older boys are doing and know they have something to look forward to. Hey, work hard at the merit badge camp this year, and you'll get to go on this awesome backpacking trip next year! Or, work hard at the merit badge camp this year, because for the next couple years your leaders don't want to do anything with you.<br /><br />Is there a wonder neither the boys nor the leaders are motivated to do anything if attitudes like that abound?Brother Smythhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08546630004201956367noreply@blogger.com0